17. Count how many combo strip clubs and furniture stores you see along the highway.
16. Contemplate how many times you have to hear the movistar ringtone before you finally snap and cause someone physical harm.
15. Play the actor name game by yourself.
14. Memorize the American Presidents.
13. If you have time, memorize all of the American Vice Presidents.
12. If you have even more time, memorize all of the American Secretaries of State. This one might actually do you some good in other countries.
11. If you have even MORE MORE time, memorize all of the characters from The Simpsons. This one will definitely be useful while traveling.
10. DO NOT WATCH MOVIES OR READ ANY BOOKS ABOUT HUMAN TRAFFICKING.
9. Play ‘Marry, F*ck, Kill’.
8. Bet how many times the bus driver will pull over for a smoke break.
7. Play ‘would you rather…’ with all subjects revolving around death. For example, would you rather die in a blazing bus crash or die in your sleep but having to listen to the movistar ringtone for 12 hours straight in said death sleep?
6. Find the only child on the bus and mean mug him or her in a staring contest.
5. Hum your country’s national anthem as loudly as possible at midnight.
4. Write postcards to all of your adult friends who have stable adult lives at stable adult office jobs. On each one, be sure to #wishyouwerehere.
3. Get to know your travel partner, seat mate, and fellow bus mates by asking them if they are trying to cross the border illegally like you.
2. Psh. I guess read a book or listen to music.
1. Sleep (Take Dramamine).
